I went to a staff meeting today for the first time since my diagnosis, and I’m really glad that I did. I can’t say that I felt like my old self again, because that isn’t true and because I’m really trying not to think about before. But something about the meeting made me feel quite content. I joked and laughed and brainstormed with my co-workers. I provided insight on their projects and updates on mine. I may have considerably fewer responsibilities than I used to, but I realized today that I am still an important part of the research staff. I still have valuable talents to offer. I am still needed. And for the first time in what feels like forever, I felt like I recognized myself. I’m still in there, somewhere. I just have to figure out exactly where. But even that small realization was enough to make me feel like I found something today.
Hurrah for fun and motivating (inspiring?) moments. So glad you started this blog, sweet girl. I love reading your writing--always have, always will.
Yeah, but now as the semester disappears and my mountain of unfinished work continues to grow, I'm starting to wonder if keeping this job was the best idea....When/how and I supposed to do all this work?!?!
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