I went to a staff meeting today for the first time since my diagnosis, and I’m really glad that I did. I can’t say that I felt like my old self again, because that isn’t true and because I’m really trying not to think about before. But something about the meeting made me feel quite content. I joked and laughed and brainstormed with my co-workers. I provided insight on their projects and updates on mine. I may have considerably fewer responsibilities than I used to, but I realized today that I am still an important part of the research staff. I still have valuable talents to offer. I am still needed. And for the first time in what feels like forever, I felt like I recognized myself. I’m still in there, somewhere. I just have to figure out exactly where. But even that small realization was enough to make me feel like I found something today.