That Time I Did An Interview About Vibrators

I haven't seen all of Grace and Frankie, but the couple of episodes I have seen are pretty entertaining. In one episode, Grace (Jane Fonda) uses a vibrator that required so much effort she gives herself a case of carpel tunnel syndrome. Based on this experience, she collaborates with Frankie (Lily Tomlin) to design a vibrator that accommodates women with limited mobility, chronic pain, and rheumatoid arthritis. 

Healthline wondered what real women with RA might have to say about a product like this - and I obligingly gave my two cents on the subject!!

Read more: We Asked Women with RA to Review the Vibrator from Netflix's 'Grace and Frankie' - This is What They Said

What You Need to Know About Pregnancy With Rheumatoid Arthritis

I’ve always known that I wanted to be a mom. When I was diagnosed with rheumatoid RA at the age of 25, one of my first concerns was how the disease might impact my ability to start a family. RA can certainly make pregnancy a bit more complicated. Whether you are thinking about your first pregnancy or considering expanding your family, if you’ve been diagnosed with RA you probably have a lot of the same questions that I had.

While I've already covered this particular topic on several other websites, I'm very excited to have the opportunity to potentially reach more moms (or moms-to-be) who may be feeling as alone as I did in their shoes! Read more on NewLifeOutlook RA! 

Hello, Representative. Does My Insurance Cover Sex Therapy?

My therapist helped me find practical ways to work on self-care, to focus on enjoying my life, and to find the energy to care for my husband and family. Deciding to speak to a sex therapist was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made towards improving my quality of life...but that doesn't mean my insurance company made it easy!!

Read more at RheumatoidArthritis.net!

Chronic Illness & Intimate Relationships – An Interview with Dr. Logan Levkoff

For the past few years, I’ve been writing openly about the impact of chronic illness on intimacy and relationships – so I was excited when I was recently offered the opportunity to interview Dr. Logan Levkoff. A recognized expert on sexuality and relationships, you may have seen Logan on the reality show Married at First Sight. Logan is dedicated to perpetuating healthy and positive messages about sexuality and relationships, and she recognizes the added struggles a chronic illness can bring to the table.

Read the full interview at ChronicSex.org!

“Treating Us Right: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Considerations” at the 2016 American College of Rheumatology Annual Meeting

The 2015 ACR Annual Meeting was the first year to have a session specifically addressing the special medical needs and concerns of the LGBTQ patient population. Here's my review of the 2016 session.

Read more at RheumatoidArthritis.net!

Maintaining a Healthy Sex Life With RA

I'm always excited when I get offered an opportunity to write about RA and intimacy. I may not always have anything particularly new or exciting to say, but every chance I have to bring more attention to the subject is another opportunity to reach someone who feels like they are struggling all alone. And the more confident patients feel requesting help with sexual issues, the more likely healthcare professionals are to provide it.

So check out my newest guest post for NewLifeOutlookRA!

“Sex and Intimacy in Chronic Disease” at the 2016 American College of Rheumatology Annual Meeting

While RA patients may want to ask their healthcare providers for advice on issues like pain or fatigue, the subject of sex can often be difficult or uncomfortable for patients to bring up.

Read more at RheumatoidArthritis.net.

The Importance of Lubrication and an All-Natural Option – Giveaway & Discount Code!

As stated in my product review policy, my reviews will always be honest. I was provided with a free sample of SYLK for review, but I was not otherwise compensated for this post.

It’s been a little while since I’ve written much about sex – and with a four-year-old and two-year-old I don’t suppose you can blame me! To be honest, finding the time for sex can be difficult enough, let alone the time to write about it! But even though sex is often that thing no one talks about, I still believe that a healthy sex life is a very important aspect of any adult’s quality of life. I also strongly believe that having a chronic illness shouldn’t mean having to sacrifice your quality of life.

Unfortunately, many of us have experienced the negative impact a chronic illness can have on a on a person’s sex life. We may have physical and positional limitations based on pain in our bodies. Our diseases may have an undesirable impact on our personal body image – making it difficult to feel confident or sexy. Sometimes the medications we take to help us function on a daily basis can have adverse sexual side effects – like reduced libido or vaginal dryness.

When trying to figure out how to improve your sex life while living with a chronic illness, one piece of advice that shouldn’t be underestimated is the importance of lubrication. Whether vaginal dryness is a medical issue or not, having sufficient lubrication can be really useful if you are having difficulty overcoming pain or getting involved in an intimate act. While some people may find the need for additional lubrication a bit embarrassing, it really shouldn’t be – at least 65% of women use personal lubricants. When it comes to physical intimacy, adequate lubrication allows you to focus your attention on things like finding a comfortable position, allocating your energy, connecting with your partner, and (most importantly!) enjoying yourself.

I was recently given the opportunity to try an all-natural, water-based lubricant – or perhaps this particular review should really say “we” as my husband was also a (very willing) participant! SYLK is apparently the only all-natural personal lubricant in the world, made with 8 ingredients and no parabens, synthetics, silicones, hormones, chemicals, or fragrances. The main ingredient actually comes from New Zealand kiwifruit vine extract. (Side note: did you know kiwi grew on a vine? I did not! You learn something new every day!). The kiwifruit vine extract yields a high amount of polysaccharides, which gives the product a texture that mimics the body’s natural lubrication. 

As this is obviously a product of a highly personal nature, I won’t get too graphic with my review. I will say that SYLK has a clean, natural feeling and almost no scent. My husband and I both agree that it actually seems a bit more slippery than other lubricants we have tried in the past, which means you likely need to use less of it. We would recommend trying to use a bit of caution when dispensing it from the tube, as it does tend to come out a bit quickly (though obviously that can be a challenge in the moment!) Overall, we both thoroughly enjoyed the experience of using this lubrication (on multiple occasions!)

GIVEAWAY! 

I’m excited that I’ve been given the opportunity to give away a FREE tube of SYLK for one of my readers to try! To enter the giveaway, please head over to my Facebook page and comment on the SYLK giveaway thread. I will randomly select a winner on Saturday, October 22st! (Please note: the winner will need to provide their mailing address to me via email).

DISCOUNT CODE!

If you aren’t comfortable entering in the givaway (which, given the product’s personal nature, is totally understandable!) my readers are also being offered 25% discount for the next two weeks. Just visit SYLK’s website and enter the code: FTPF (SYLK is also available on Amazon, but the FTPF code will only work on their website.)

In the meantime, I hope we can all remember the importance of lubrication and start to feel less embarrassed as we figure out how to achieve the quality of life we each deserve! 

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END NOTE: I know that many readers come to my blog because they are interested in starting a family, so if you are one of them I want to make sure that I note one potential issue that comes with using an over-the-counter personal lubricant if you are trying to conceive. According to WebMD and many other sources that focus on conception:

Most lubricants can change the pH or acid balance inside the vagina, and that in turn may affect sperm motility and ultimately prevent, or at least reduce the chances of a pregnancy occurring… If you find you must use a lubricant, avoid petroleum jelly. Instead… [try] a natural product, such as olive oil, which is less likely to cause any serious problems.

SYLK is all-natural, so it is possible that it may be a better choice for conception than other over-the-counter lubrications. However, when I asked the SYLK representative about conception she was unable to give me any specific information as to how the product may or may not affect your chances of getting pregnant. So if you are trying to conceive and need a lubricant, I recommend checking out Pre-Seed, which is a fertility-friendly lubricant. It may quite possibly have the worst name ever, but we used it with success for both of my pregnancies!! (The link I’ve provided is an Amazon Affiliate Link. If you’re thinking about trying Pre-Seed, I'd love if you would use this link and help me afford the children that product helped me conceive haha!)

The #ChronicSex Movement – A Safe Place to Discuss Self-Love, Relationships, and Sexuality with Illness and Disability

Despite the seemingly obvious link, I’ve always been surprised that the issue of sex and RA seems to be that thing no one talks about. The #ChronicSex Movement is a safe place to discuss self-love, relationships, and sexuality with illness and disability.

Read more on RheumatoidArthritis.net!

Mamas Facing Forward Around The World!

Although I have a lot of really wonderful friends who became first time moms right about the same time that I did, my path to motherhood was actually quite lonely. Because of my rheumatoid arthritis, I had to deal with a variety of difficult situations that my other mom friends never had to face. I had to wean off medications for months to make it safe to conceive. I had to try to get pregnant while living with untreated RA. I had to deal with flares during my pregnancies and make difficult decisions about taking medications while pregnant. I had to figure out how to change diapers and lift my baby safely when my hands and wrists ached terribly. I had to make heart wrenching decisions about whether to breastfeed or take stronger medications to treat my RA. And I had to do it all basically alone - because at the time there weren't even very many blogs or places online where I could get connected to other women who were having similar experiences.

After going through all that on my own, I really wanted to share my story so that other women would feel less alone on their own paths to motherhood. So I shared my experiences of conception, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and motherhood on this blog and also on RheumatoidArthritis.net and other sites. It wasn't until the first HealtheVoices Conference in April 2015 that I realized I might be able to utilize social media to do more. At the conference I also met many individuals who were living with other types of chronic illnesses, and I realized just how much we had in common with each other even though we didn't live with the same diseases. So it also occurred to me that I might be able to create an even bigger network of support if I included all types of chronic illnesses. 

So I launched Mamas Facing Forward just about a year and a half ago. Since that time, the group has grown to include over 400 moms who are living with various types of chronic illnesses - and it continues to grow every day! The goal of the group is to help moms (and moms-to-be) who are living with chronic illnesses embrace the challenges we face and learn to find strength from them. I want us to support and encourage each other as we brainstorm ways to keep facing forward – for our children and, even more importantly, for ourselves. I truly hope that the women in the group feel less alone and more supported than I did on my own path to motherhood and I hope to be able to continue to develop resources for additional support. I know that I have personally benefited from being connected to other moms who understand what I am going through! Because motherhood is hard - and chronic illness makes it harder!

Though I did dream of creating a big network of support, one thing that never occurred to me was how far the impact of the group might reach. I recently found out just how far by offering the mamas in the group the chance to add their location to a world map. It turns out that members of Mamas Facing Forward can be found in at least 30 U.S. states, Canada, England, Ireland, Belgium, Australia, New Zealand, Malaysia, South Africa, Uganda, Senegal - and the pins on the map only represent about a third of the group's members! 

I'm amazed to see just how far we have been able to reach - and I'm excited to continue leading a community that helps moms figure out how to keep facing forward despite chronic illness.

If you're a mom living with a chronic illness (or want to become a mom someday!) PLEASE JOIN US!

 

Juvenile Arthritis Conference East - Relationships & Intimacy

I took a whirlwind trip to Philadelphia over the weekend to speak again to young adults living with arthritis about relationships and intimacy - this time at the Juvenile Arthritis Conference East. I really enjoyed the chance to be on the panel and to discuss this very important topic.

There were a few more young adults in attendance at this session than there were in Phoenix, and we got so many good questions submitted anonymously when we collected the index cards that unfortunately we weren't able to answer them all before running out of time. But hopefully Kirsten and I will be able to address the unanswered questions soon on the Chronic Sex webpage - so I'll be sure to share a link here when we do! 

All of those great questions just goes to show that we really do need to keep fighting for more resources addressing how chronic illness can impact relationships and intimacy. I'm still thrilled that the Arthritis Foundation is willing to embrace this topic - and I hope that they continue to do so going forward as it is a topic that ultimately plays a huge role in quality of life for people living with arthritis.

Mamas Facing Forward – A Community to Help Mamas Facing Chronic Illnesses Move Forward

When I realized that there seemed to be no resources addressing the unique challenges of motherhood with a chronic illness, I decided to start one of my own.

Read more at RheumatoidArthritis.net.

Click here to request to join Mamas Facing Forward!

Juvenile Arthritis Conference West - Relationships & Intimacy

Those of you who follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and/or Instagram know that I had a crazy busy week last week - I wanted to share some highlights!

Recently I've been supporting my amazing friend Kirsten as she works to develop resources and support for an issue I have long argued needs to be discussed more - the impact of arthritis on our sex lives. Kirsten has been hosting the Chronic Sex Twitter Chat (every Thursday at 7pm ET) and she has gathered amazing resources on the Chronic Sex website. Because of this great work, Kirsten was asked to moderate a session on relationships and intimacy for the young adults at the Arthritis Foundation's Juvenile Arthritis Conference. I was lucky enough to be asked to join the panel as well - along with Jeremy Forsyth, who not only brought a male perspective but also the perspective a partner/caregiver as he and his wife both live with chronic illnesses.

Rather than being a lecture or talk, the session was more of a collaborative discussion with the young adults who attended the conference and are living with arthritis themselves. We talked about self esteem, dating, relationships, and, of course, sex. We worked hard to provide these young adults with a safe space to ask any questions they might have and to share their worries and concerns, either out loud or via written anonymous index cards. As the panel, we admitted that we don't have all the answers to these questions - and that we still struggle with many of these issues in our own marriages. But we did our best to share what we've learned from our own experiences and emphasize that it is natural to struggle with these issues - but that you don't have to struggle alone. We shared resources for information and support, as well as tips for talking to their doctors and partners. 

Though everyone in the room was over age 18, I will admit that they seemed quite young to me - thought perhaps that comes with the territory of being a mom myself! Despite their youth, I truly hope that their parents were grateful (or at least ok with) our session. My own kids are still a bit young to talk directly about sex (so far we've only discussed that private parts are private, and parents and doctors are the only ones allowed to touch besides themselves), but when my kids are older I hope they will feel comfortable asking any questions they have. But, if they aren't comfortable asking me or their dad, I truly hope that they will also have a safe resource to turn to to learn about healthy intimate relationships. 

I'm really thrilled that the Arthritis Foundation was willing to embrace this topic - which will ultimately play a huge role in quality of life these young adults living with arthritis. And I am very excited to participate in this session again in a few weeks - at the Juvenile Arthritis Conference East in Philadelphia! 

How To Handle Parenting With Rheumatoid Arthritis

I'm pleased to announce my first guest post for another great RA support site: NewLifeOutlook|RA!

From an RA perspective, I felt so alone when I started my journey to pregnancy and parenthood. Since then I've worked hard to try to provide and encourage more resources on this topic - so that future parents-to-be with RA will feel less alone than I did! 

So I'm always pleased to be asked to write about a topic that is near and dear to my heart: How To Handle Parenting With Rheumatoid Arthritis.

Study Shows One Third Of Rheumatoid Arthritis Patients Experience Sexual Dysfunction

A recent study shows that RA can affect sexual function in both men and women in a number of ways.

Read more at RheumatoidArthritis.net. 

How to Improve Intimacy with Chronic Illness

If your health has had a negative impact on your sex life, you are not alone. Many factors can impact intimacy – such as pain, fatigue, mood, body image, and more. 

Check out my newest guest post for Mango Health! I was very excited that Mango Health was willing to let me cover this subject - one that is so rarely discussed but can have such a major impact on our quality of life!

#ChronicSex: Creating a Safe Place to Talk about Sex and Chronic Illness

The amazing Lene Anderson of HealthCentral has written a great article outlining the importance of the #ChronicSex movement as a safe place to discuss self-love, self-care, relationships, sex, and sexuality with chronic illness. 

Check out Lene's article here!

Or, if you prefer, you can go straight to the source! Kirsten Schultz, the blogger behind Not Standing Still's Disease and the creator of the #chronicsex hashtag, is now developing www.chronicsex.org! I'm thrilled to see this important issue getting more attention, and I'm excited to be a part of it!

“Fertility and Rheumatic Disease” at the American College of Rheumatology Annual Meeting

When I was diagnosed with RA at the age of 25, one of my first fears was how the disease might limit me from one of my major life goals – starting a family.

Read more at RheumatoidArthritis.net. 

Advice from A Sexual Counselor For Chronic Patients

Although life with a chronic illness can present challenges when it comes to sexual health, there are things that patients can do to improve their situations.

Read more at RheumatoidArthritis.net.

“Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer: Conversations and Care” at the American College of Rheumatology Annual Meeting

It only takes one negative experience to alienate someone from healthcare, which is a real problem for individuals with chronic health conditions.

Read more at RheumatoidArthritis.net.