Communication is key in relationships - especially when one partner is living with a chronic illness. In this article I explain how my husband and I used "The 5 Love Languages" quiz to better understand each other and improve our communication as a couple. 

The 5 Love Languages – A Tool For Improving Communication in Relationships

 💕Need even more info on this subject? Check out the "Relationships & Intimacy" section, under the heading "Living" on mamasfacingforward.com! 💕

🤰Have any questions about lupus and pregnancy? 🤰Below you'll find our top 10 doctor-reviewed tips for lupus pregnancy planning and success!

Top 10 Tips for Lupus Pregnancy Planning and Success

 

Book Review: Fair Play

We all know that running a household and parenting kids requires endless emotional, mental, and physical effort! Unfortunately, without an explicit negotiation of how the workload should be split, research shows that women still do the bulk of childcare and domestic work, even in two-earner families in which both parents work full-time! 🧹🧽 🍼 🎒

For moms in this community, of course, there's the added burden of living with a chronic illness. Taking care of your own health may require dozens of appointments, trips to the pharmacy, long phone calls arguing with your insurance company or copay assistance program, physical or occupational therapy, and more - not to mention a very legitimate need for down time to rest and care for yourself!

 

Based on copious research, interviews, and testing, Rodsky has developed a system that offers couples a way to divide up all domestic responsibilities - or "cards" - and, most importantly, to divide them FAIRLY. Rodsky encourages each mom to grab on to this mantra and repeat it again, and again, and again: "I do not have to do it all." Fair Play will help you learn how to make this mantra a reality within your own home. 

 

Book Review: Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live)

 

Moms don’t get to be sick. 🤒 And yet, we’re only human, no matter how much we’re trying to be superwoman! Here are 30 activities to get you and your toddler through a sick day or flare while being a chronically awesome parent:

30 Ways to Entertain an Active Toddler When You’re (Chronically) Ill

 

Mamas Facing Forward Children's Book Reviews

Perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of motherhood with chronic illness is helping your children understand what is going on with your body and encouraging acceptance about how your illness may impact them. How can you help them develop empathy about what you're experiencing, especially if your illness is invisible? Where's the line between being honest and making them worry? What's the best way to address their concerns in kid-friendly language? This is a topic that will likely need to be an ongoing discussion in your family - and sometimes reading a book together can help!

Here is a list of every children's book we have reviewed on our site in one place, to make it easier to browse all the options. All of these books could be considered resources for helping kids cope with having a parent with a chronic illness, and often they can be useful even if the specific diagnosis mentioned isn't your own. But please take a look at each individual review to find out if the book will be a good fit for your family!

Review of: Aunt Barby's Invisible, Endless Owie by Barby Ingle & Tim Ingle

Review of: How Do You Care For A Very Sick Bear? by Vanessa Bayer

Review of: How Many Marbles Do YOU Have? Helping Children Understand The Limitations of Those With Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia by Melinda Malott

Review of: In My Heart - A Book of Feelings by Jo Witek

Review of: Mommy Has To Stay in Bed by Annette Rivlin-Gutman

Review of: Mommy Sayang by Rosana Sullivan

Review of: Mommy's Going to the Hospital by Josie Leon

Review of: Mommy What's Wrong? by Jessica Hensarling

Review of: My Special Butterfly by Kelli Roseta

Review of: Noah the Narwhal - A Tale of Ups and Downs by Judith Klausner

Review of: Ravyn's Doll - How to explain fibromyalgia to your child by Melissa Swanson

Review of: Some Days (board book) by Caitlyn P.W. Jones

Review of: Some Days: A Tale of Love, Ice Cream, and My Mom’s Chronic Illness by Julie A. Stamm

Review of: What Does Super Jonny Do When Mom Gets Sick? by Simone Colwill

Review of: When Mommy is Sick by Ferne Sherkin-Langer

Review of: When Pete's Dad Got Sick by Kathleen Long Bostrom

Review of: Why Does Mommy Hurt? Helping Children Cope with the Challenges of Having a Caregiver with Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, or Autoimmune Disease by Elizabeth M Christy

Review of: Wonder Mommy by Jennifer

 

3 Strategies for Parenting With Chronic Illness

Here are three strategies for parenting with chronic illness:

Strategy 1: fill your own cup first. ☕ 

Strategy 2: plan in advance! 🗓️

Strategy 3: connect for support! 🫶

“If you’re trying to get pregnant, you kind of have to have sex”

When I first started thinking about getting pregnant after being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, I desperately wanted to hear from other women who had succeeded in this goal. At the time, there wasn’t much social media, but I did find a great book called Arthritis, Pregnancy and the Path to Parenthood. It contained quotes and advice from real women, and I found it invaluable.

But I also found a problem: the book started off talking about the possibility of having to change some of your medications before getting pregnant and then jumped straight to talking about being pregnant. But wait! If I stop my medications, won’t I flare? And if I’m in pain, how do I ever get pregnant in the first place? Is there a chapter missing from this book on trying to conceive while living with arthritis??

That’s the question I asked Iris Zink, a rheumatology Nurse Practitioner who recently wrote a book about intimacy and chronic illness with Jenny Thorn Palter. (The book is called “Sex – Interrupted” and you can read my review of it here!) Their book recommends a lot of alternatives to intercourse – which I think is generally great advice for for maintaining intimacy in a relationship while dealing with a chronic illness! But what if you want to start a family? If you’re trying to get pregnant, you kind of have to have sex!

Iris and I decided to have a discussion about a topic we haven’t seen anyone else talking about: the challenges many women face in actually trying to conceive while living with a chronic illness. I share my personal experiences, and Iris shares her expert advice in this video!

4 Women Get Real About Living with Rheumatoid Arthritis

Your immune system is supposed to protect your body, but if you have rheumatoid arthritis (RA), it mistakenly attacks healthy joints, tissues, and organs—including the eyes and lungs. As a result, the chronic autoimmune disorder causes pain, swelling, stiffness, and loss of function in the joints. It can also cause other symptoms including fatigue, appetite loss, and dry eyes.

RA affects 1.5 million Americans, and there is no cure. But it can be managed with medications and lifestyle modifications.

Women’s Health

 

Women’s Health magazine featured four women – including Mamas Facing Forward founder Mariah Leach – who discuss being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, how they each cope, and what they’ve learned from living with RA.

4 Women Get Real About Living with Rheumatoid Arthritis

Women’s Health

 

Colorado Lawmakers Debate Bill Surrounding Prescription Drug Prices

A little late sharing this, but I was recently interviewed by Shaun Boyd on CBS4 News (via Zoom!) about the new prescription drug affordability board bill being considered in the Colorado state legislature.

You can view the news clip here.

Children's Book Review: How Many Marbles Do YOU Have?

Perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of motherhood with chronic illness is helping your children understand what is going on with your body and encouraging acceptance about how your illness may impact them. How can you help them develop empathy about what you're experiencing, especially if your illness is invisible? Where's the line between being honest and making them worry? What's the best way to address their concerns in kid-friendly language? This is a topic that will likely need to be an ongoing discussion in your family - and sometimes reading a book together can help!

Click below to read a review of "How Many Marbles Do YOU Have? Helping Children Understand The Limitations of Those With Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia" by Melinda Malott. 

Children's Book Review: How Many Marbles Do YOU Have?

Mamas Facing Forward