For the past three(ish) weeks, I've been waking up every single morning feeling like I have absolutely been run over by a truck. Multiple times. Or maybe like my body is filled with rocks. Or possibly both. It's a very frustrating way to start the day.
I'm sure the extra weight and my big belly and the tiny person taking over my insides all play a role in this soreness. Pregnancy, as I have discovered, takes more of a toll on your body than I ever expected.
But, try as I might, I just can't help thinking about how eerily familiar all morning stiffness feels, especially combined with the last few weeks of hip and hand pain. I can't help thinking about days before my diagnosis, when I could barely drag myself out of bed and I had no idea why. Or about all those days after my diagnosis, when I could barely drag myself out of bed and it didn't make it any easier to know why.
I'm really trying not think about the fact that it seems very much like my RA is on its way back - and may already be here. But, honestly, that is so much easier said than done. Especially in the morning when I wake up feeling totally beat up instead of at all rested. When I wonder how on earth I will get through the day and the tiniest tasks - like deciding what to make for dinner - seem almost impossible.
I'm also trying to ignore my worries about how I will ever care for a small human if I feel anything like this after he arrives, but that is also easier said than done.
I'm certain that I will get through all this - and I am so grateful to have APL always by my side to help me when I need it. And I'm positive this will all be worth it in the end. It's just that....some days everything seems a whole lot harder than it ought to be.
I'm really trying not think about the fact that it seems very much like my RA is on its way back - and may already be here. But, honestly, that is so much easier said than done. Especially in the morning when I wake up feeling totally beat up instead of at all rested. When I wonder how on earth I will get through the day and the tiniest tasks - like deciding what to make for dinner - seem almost impossible.
I'm also trying to ignore my worries about how I will ever care for a small human if I feel anything like this after he arrives, but that is also easier said than done.
I'm certain that I will get through all this - and I am so grateful to have APL always by my side to help me when I need it. And I'm positive this will all be worth it in the end. It's just that....some days everything seems a whole lot harder than it ought to be.
4 comments:
(((HUGS))) That teenie tiny one will be worth all of this. And if you have to, call in the troops for help. And you may want to talk to your OB about all of this. If I remember correctly (you can probably find info. on what meds are safe for your illness and pregnancy) but I remember reading that pregnisone was OK for pregnant women and ra. My heart goes out to you.
DEB: Thanks for the support. ~;o)
It'll all be worth it...right? lol I've been so tired lately and I'm still waiting for the pregnancy remission to kick in. I started physical therapy, so I'm hoping it helps with the stiffness until then. Hope you feel better soon...even if just for a few minutes. Take care and hang in there!
CHRISTINA: I have no doubt that it will all be worth it. ~;o) And I felt pretty good through the whole second trimester (and most of the first trimester misery was related to morning sickness, not RA). So hang in there!!
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