Sunday, November 9, 2008

Number Four Is Missing

I had yet another anxiety dream last night. I was at this big gathering – like a reunion or something – and I was there with my two sets of twins. Yes, instead of one unnamed anxiety baby, this dream gave me four. I had four girls ages 4, 4, 2, and 2. For some reason, Austin was not part of the dream (Maybe I scared him off by getting unnecessarily upset about the laundry?)

So I was trying to keep track of my two sets of twins while also getting something to eat and visiting with people at the party when I realized that one of the girls was missing. One of the 2 year olds was nowhere to be seen. So then I was trying to keep track of the other three while I ran around the party looking for the missing twin. I finally found my friend RK, who offered to watch the other three so that I could find the missing baby. I ran around the party like a crazy person looking for the baby, but no matter where I looked I couldn’t find my little girl.

In real life, when I told RK about this dream, she logically responded: “I was watching three of your children? You should have known right then it was a dream! I would never watch three of your children.” And that gave me a good laugh. Note to self: try to be more logical during anxiety dreams.

But the whole thing really leaves me wondering how I’m supposed to stay calm and stop stressing in real life if I’m so anxious in my dreams. I realize that I am probably having anxiety dreams because I’m stressing in real life, but it seems sort of like a vicious cycle. Because I seriously doubt I would stop having anxiety dreams if I let myself do a little more panicking during the day. But how am I supposed to relax during the day if I don’t sleep well at night?

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