Monday, September 28, 2009

Trying to Un-bite What It Turns Out I Couldn’t Chew

Although I’ve spent practically a year non-stop thinking about this problem, I still struggle almost daily with the limitations – physical, emotional, and mental – that RA puts on my life.

At the beginning of the semester I was doing really well. I was only experiencing relatively small amounts of pain on a daily basis. I had more energy than in the past year. I was exercising every day and even loosing some of my prednisone weight-gain. And, as my ridiculously over-organized Type A personality had basically been on hold all spring during my semester off , I can’t even begin to explain how good it actually felt to get back to work and school. I have to admit that I felt more like me than I had in a long, long time.

Unfortunately, I’ve had some trouble since then. For one thing, the conference I am planning for work has turned out to be WAY more work than I really intended to sign up for. And though I have delegated everywhere I possibly could, it still takes a lot of effort to keep track of what everyone else is doing. So I am spending a lot more time on the conference than I originally intended to. However, I do think the networking and resume material will be worth it in the end. Plus, for the most part, I really enjoy the work.

Not to mention the conference will be over in October. I thought I had planned well enough because I knew the beginning of the semester would be a little crazy with the conference. But what I didn’t plan for was all this hand pain. I’m still assuming the pain started with overuse at the wedding about two weeks ago, but that’s mostly because I don’t like the alternative explanation: that my treatment isn’t working as well as we thought it was. I'm not ready to start the trial-and-error drug trials again. Either way, when is this hand pain going to let up? It is really causing me trouble in getting anything done. Consequently, I am behind in all of my classes. And if the semester keeps up this way, I'll have trouble keeping up even when the conference is over.

So: I am forced to admit: I have bitten off more than I can chew this semester.

Solution: I dropped a class. A “W” will appear on my transcript, but I guess with a whole semester missing one “W” is not that big of a deal. I am trying to take some solace in having the strength to admit that I took on too much, and having the courage to cut back on my commitments before it is too late. But I still feel pretty bummed about it.

Plus, my hands are still killing me.

I've had better days.

3 comments:

A said...

I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself. You're an inspiration, sweetie! (even if it doesn't feel like it)

Joanna said...

You did the right thing.

~Z~ said...

Thanks, girls.