Today, River woke me up at 8:30am by vomiting on the floor. I had to jump out of bed to clean it up before it soaked into the carpet, which was no easy task for me (the jumping or the scrubbing). Then I opened the bedroom door so River could go downstairs, in case she still felt sick. But I guess the little sicky was feeling better because she hopped back up on the bed and went straight back to sleep. So I followed suit and we slept until noon. At least she didn’t barf on the bed.
I really am trying to focus on the things I still have to be happy about. And I am objective enough to understand that in the process of figuring out how to live with my RA there’s going to be ups and downs. And I know that things are generally progressing in the direction of “better,” albeit slowly. I know all this.
But, unfortunately, even having that mindset doesn’t make the sucky days suck any less. Or the sucky weeks, for that matter. And this has been a sucky week. I’ve been feeling icky and sad. Yesterday the biggest thing I accomplished was walking to the mailbox to pay a $539 hospital bill. I did nothing else other than feel gross. On Sunday, APL and I had invited people over for game night, but when people arrived I felt so disgusting and antisocial that I couldn’t even bring myself to go downstairs and face people who are our friends. The little projects I have started for myself have held no interest. I've lost my appetite. And I don’t know how to snap out of it.
I guess I'll snap out of it when I start feeling a little bit better, which hopefully will be soon.