Well, I did it. I used a syringe today to inject my ENBREL dose.
Favorite Lab Man told me that he didn't have first-hand experience with ENBREL, so he wanted to make sure I had the best help I could get. He took me to meet one of the nurses at student health, who apparently gives an ENBREL shot to a student every single week because the student is too afraid to do it herself. Favorite Lab Man had talked to the nurse about my situation and everything. And I was SO grateful that I had him to help me get through this. He was super-sweet about setting up the whole thing, even though it's not his job to do so.
The nurse talked with me about how to use the syringe properly. She told me that, if I wanted, she would give me this shot this week and I could come back next week and give myself the shot while she watched. But, with all the advice and support I have gotten from my amazing readers, and the self-reliant feeling I've been developing in the past two weeks, I decided that I was ready to just do it myself. I need to be able to take care of myself. So, with her explaination, I stuck that needle into my thigh myself, pushed down on the plunger myself, and gave myself an injection - my first time using a syringe.
I'm not going to lie: I was pretty shaky for about a half hour afterwards. For reasons that I can't quite explain, it was just hard hard for me to use the syringe. It involved a lots of adrenaline, and I felt really jittery for a long while afterwards.
But, in the end, it really wasn't all that bad. In fact, in some ways, it was actually better than the auto-injector. With the auto-injector I usually press the button and then hold my breath during the 15 seconds that the spring-loaded needle sends the medicine into my system. Sometimes waiting for the click that signals it is over feels like an eternity. But, with the syringe, since I was pushing the plunger myself, I was in control of how long it took to put the medicine into my system. And it didn't seem as long. So maybe it's a blessing in disguise? In any event, I have three more tries with the syringes to decide how I want to do it after that. So we'll see how it goes.
After it was all over, I found myself thinking about a blog post that I read recently. It was about how kids get treats when they have to undergo medical procedures, but for some reason grownups don't get any credit for dealing with yucky stuff. The post inspired me to give myself a treat after doing something that was hard for me: I bought myself a wedding magazine and a latte and spent a lovely afternoon in a coffee shop, just dreaming about my wedding day!
All in all, not a bad day!!! Syringe and all.